ARSENAL : THE INVISIBLE INVINCIBLES

Arsene Wenger ***image courtesy of zimbio.com***
Arsene Wenger ***image courtesy of zimbio.com***

by Victor Karuga

Two weeks ago, Arsenal finished fourth, and rightly so, qualified for the Champions League, (much to Tottenham’s chagrin). Meanwhile, the red half of Manchester was revelling in an umpteenth 20th Premier League title. It was oh so heartbreaking to see their manager of 20-odd years, Sir Alex Ferguson retire. Glowing tributes, gushing international accolades, calls for a second statue and dedicated pull-outs in dailies was a fitting sendoff for one of footballs greatest managers.

And it was also pomp and colour, champagne and caviar at the Emirates for they managed to clinch the prestigious 4th place, beating off strong competition from their biggest North London rivals,  Tottenham by a single point, (sweat and blood I tell you) and with a better points tally than last season. Sadly for the triumphant Wenger and Co, there will be no 20-page supplements, no triumphant processions, no tearful fans kissing team potraits and as far as glowing tributes go, I’m afraid this is as good as its going to get.

With calls for Wenger’s head growing louder, and led by fans as famous as Piers Morgan, it is time the EPL’s (now) longest-serving manager conjures up a couple of tricks that involve the appearance of a certain Montenegrin striker, a French midfielder, a Belgian goalkeeper at the Emirates, and a disappearing act involving a dimunitive Russian, a lanky Morrocan, an egocentric Dane and a bench-warming French defender. A delicate balancing act for the good old professor, who wishes he could go back to when twitter as we know it was launched, to days when his greatest headache was who between Emmanuel Adebayor and Robin Van Persie would  partner Thierry Henry in attack, and whether Robert Pires deserved another three-year contract.

His acquisitions in the current forward line makes him look like a socially aspirational farmer, who at a vast expense, imports a clakingly useless hapischord that nobody within five towns can play,and ends up being used to prop open the parlour door. Do I hear the names Marouane Chamakh and Gervinho being heckled ?

But really though, the greatest misconception is that Arsenal will not awaken and rattle the big names in English and European football. For that day is nigh and maybe, the hashtag reading “#Wenger Out” will be replaced by, #ArsenalChamps, something that has never happened since twitters inception. Then maybe, just maybe, that cup will be silver, the handles big and the previous owners will be Bavarian, lofty dreams I know, but possible dreams all the same.

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